Як читати мотиваційну літературу: поради від експертки з емоційного інтелекту Ірини Оксенюк

Зараз на українському книжковому ринку спостерігається бум мотиваційної літератури. Проте є багато скептиків, які вважають, що такі книжки не можуть допомогти розвинути певну навичку чи – глобально – стати кращим/-ою. Ми поспілкувались з Іриною Оксенюк, психологом, експертом з емоційного інтелекту, сертифікований експертом Міжнародного інституту розвитку емоційного інтелекту, про те, як себе мотивувати та чи можуть книжки допомогти у саморозвитку. 

Як ти вважаєш, чому є така недовіра до цього сегменту літератури?

Тут, на мою думку, існує кілька причин. Перша – в частині книжок – не дуже вдалий або не адаптований до наших реалій переклад, тому читається складно. Я читала Стівена Кові «Сім навичок високоефективних людей» російською, потім англійською, оскільки український переклад з’явився значно пізніше. Якби читала українською мовою з самого початку – відкинула б на перших сторінках, бо в перекладі підібрали надто складні слова, щоб пояснити прості речі.

Друга причина – це читання книг не під свій запит. Часто назва книжок не відображає їхню суть. Маркетологи постарались розпіарити книжку, і заголовки стимулюють її купити. А коли починаєш читати – все доволі розмито: 70% присвячено тому, що ця книжка кардинально змінить ваше життя, та відгукам читачів, а самі інструменти змін і технології – лише на останніх кількох сторінках.

Третя причина – орієнтуйтесь у своєму виборі на рекомендації тих людей, цінності та інтереси яких вам імпонують. Якщо ж особистість авторитетна, експерт в своїй справі, але викладає матеріал, висловлюється чи веде соціальні мережі в спосіб, що вам неприємний, не імпонує, – так само і рекомендовані нею книжки вам не сподобаються. Навіть якщо це бестселери.  Тому й існує такий великий вибір.

На твою думку, мотиваційні книги можуть змінити людину? Чи обов’язково читання має йти в комплексі з роботою з психологом чи іншими фахівцями?

Можуть, але не повністю від книг все залежить. Відповідальність за результат в роботі над собою – лише на самій людині. Доки я не прийняла цю відповідальність на себе і перекладаю на психолога, книжку чи ще на когось, доти процес змін рухатись не буде. Психологічний вік такої особи – «немовля», максимум – «підліток», якщо вона вірить, що успіх чи щастя в її житті залежать від книжки.

Матеріал, інформація –  це лише інструмент, підказка. Коли я перебуваю на роздоріжжі вибору або взагалі є мало інформації про те, як мені досягти своєї цілі, з чого почати, то читання книжки, історії «як інші пройшли подібний шлях» та «що мені варто врахувати» – саме те, що потрібно. Мій мозок вбирає інформацію, поєднує вже з наявною в моїй пам’яті, картині світу «що і як працює», і я швидше роблю вибір чи конкретні дії, бо володію більшим спектром інформації. 

Як правильно орієнтуватися у виборі такої книжки? На що потрібно звернути увагу, коли обираєш, щоб методи (звісно, якщо це можливо визначити наперед), пропоновані автором, підійшли саме тобі? Чи є якісь маячки, орієнтуючись на які, можна це зрозуміти? Яким має бути автор, якому можна довіряти?

Більшість мотиваційної літератури подає суть через схожу технологію. Відмінність полягає в тому, що через різні приклади, більш влучні слова, автори описують саме свою історію або кейси з практики. Це і є ключ правильного вибору. Дізнайтесь історію автора книжки, чим він живе чи що пережив. Якщо вам імпонують цінності, шлях – сміливо беріть книжку.

Чимало видатних людей прожили дивне, пусте життя і лише наприкінці кардинально повернули його, цим же відкрили для світу щось своє. Тут важливо визначити для себе причинно-наслідковий зв’язок, чужі уроки.

Щодо «якості» авторів немає однозначної успішної формули. Одні – професіонали у своїй справі, мають чимало наукових ступенів і звань, але не можуть простими словами пояснити, як працює тема в повсякденному житті. Інші ж – навпаки. От, скажімо Деніел Гоулман, автор книжки «Емоційний інтелект» – не психолог, не тренер, а журналіст, який взяв ретельні інтерв’ю у впливових вчених, що досліджують емоційний інтелект все своє життя. Він майстерно описав отримані знання у своїй книзі. Вона стала популярнішою за видання профі в цій справі.

Якщо книжки таки можуть впливати, чи є секрети, як їх правильно читати?

Я веду читацький щоденник. Виписую (або копіюю, якщо читаю книжку в електронній версії) цитати саме до нього. В подорожах дуже зручно перечитати, наче 10-20 книг, лише нагадавши собі суть улюбленими висловлюваннями. 

Легко відкладаю книгу, якщо навіть після 50-ї сторінки не отримую задоволення від процесу. Люблю «смакувати текст». Коли автор або ж у вдалому перекладі так тонко підібрали слова, влучно знайшли прикметник, щоб пережити свій катарсис, інсайт, відкриття, прозріння, –  задоволення від пізнання.

Що з дієвого можеш порадити – твій мастрід для тих, хто вирішив змінитись у 2019

Мої топ-5:

  1. Джим Рон  «Вітаміни для розуму» – маленька, але фундаментальна книга, яка описала простими постулатами світогляд, що мені імпонує.
  2. Ден Дубравін «Психология эмоций: чувства под контролем» – для тих, хто хоче вивчати свої почуття, зрозуміти їх природу і простими словами дізнатись «як це працює», як розвивати свій емоційний інтелект.
  3. Джеймс Празка, Джон Норкросс, Карло ди Клементе «Психологія позитивних змін» – про процеси, що відбуваються в нашій психіці, фізіології коли людина розвиває звичку чи позбувається шкідливої. Це як книжки Чарльз Дахігг «Сила звички» та Келлі Макгонігал «Сила волі» разом узяті. Написано дуже професійною та водночас простою мовою, з живими історіями, на експериментальних прикладах.
  4. Аліс Міллєр «Драма одаренного ребенка и поиск собственного Я». Якщо хочете зрозуміти фразу «всі наші травми – родом з дитинства» і чому батьки – ті, хто були фізично поруч з нами, – найбільше впливають на формування особистості. Водночас і про те, як навчитись не звинувачувати їх у всіх своїх невдачах, а прийняти відповідальність за своє життя.
  5. Бодо Шефер «Закони переможців» – теж фундаментальна книга постулатів. Дуже стисло, «без води» про те, як змінювати себе, працювати над собою. Ті правила, які успішно працюють з прогресивними, соціально визнаними людьми, і що варто робити, щоб повторити їхній шлях.

Обирайте книжки, які в новому році налаштують вас на потрібний лад, допоможуть повірити в себе і свої можливості, мотивуватимуть на зміни у житті. Детальніше — за посиланням.

Мар'яна Хемій
Редакторка блогу. Люблю книжки, розмови, подорожі.

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